brittani's blog

its passover season and hooray for it!

i've been observing a "traditional passover" for the past 12 years of my life (give or take a year)

for those of you that dont know what this implies, or agree with my idea of the statement, i simply mean this:

-we wash the feet of a fellow child of God (as Jesus did at the "last supper", which was also a passover feast)
this is to symbolize being humble and a servant of God and of man (as commanded by God)

-we bless the "cup" as did Jesus and drink it (real wine. just a touch, less than a shot, no funny business ;) )
this is to symbolize the blood of Jesus Christ that was shed for you.

-we bless and break the bread
this is to symbolize the body of Jesus Christ.
a living sacrfice, again, for YOU.

-we sing one song together and then we leave
(as was tradition in the old testament and as was observed by Jesus and His disciples)

i said all of this not to tell you why what i do is right or wrong, simply to tell you WHAT i do and WHY.
feel free to ask me for any Bible reference to anything to do with this or whatever God may lay on your heart.

like i said.
ive been doing this for approximately 12 years.
and this year, i think God wants me to make it more special.

i was reading some things online today and came across "the 8 days of passover"

when i realized that today was the first day (at least i think it is?! :) ) the thing i needed to do just seemed to hit me like a ton of bricks.

i will be fasting
but probably not at all like what you may be thinking.
for me
for you
for our genration and those to come.

i dont take this lightly and i only hope that you will comment or message me with any questions or anything you have, really.

thanks for reading thus far.
i only ask for a little respect.
especially if you disagree with me.

like i said.
this is simply what IIIiiii do.

i hope you all i know that i sincerely love you.

happy passover! :)
<3

< brittani 3

for anyone that read that last post...
well
things never really got better with that guy.
but things are so much better now.

its spring break of my senior year and it has been CRAZY!

i started it out by seeing 300 with some great friends of mine.
i got to see norma jean and the chariot the next night.
went to nashville the next day and saw sparta, aloha and
MEWITHOUTYOU
there was a question answer session afterward and it just made my night.
aaron weiss is a realllly cool guy.
as is his brother.
im pretty sure his name was mike.

fast forward a few days...
i total my taurus while speeding and texting
ive already been reprimanded.
please dont tell me what i have already heard a thousand times.

im fine and i leave the phone alone, now.
i just had to learn the hard way.
probably the only way for me to have learned.

speaking of texting:
i have a great new friend named Joe.

we mostly communicate via text.
he's been one of my best friends for a couple of months now, and we are going to get to meet for the first time this weekend.
tomorrow actually!!!
and i've been looking forward to this for months!

tomorrow, emma and i are going (back) to nashville to see Sherwood, Mae and Relient K at Rocketown.
it will be the last day of my spring break,and the first day i'll ever get to see joe!
dont worry. we're not meeting alone or anything.
all confrontation will be in public and with lots of other people around at all times.
he's going to be at the concert.

speaking of the concert, God blessed me with an awesome connection, and i get to get in (to this sold out show) via GUEST LIST?!
isnt that great.
im happy about it.

relient k meant a lot to me growing up, and sherwood has become a great listening pleasure ever since i bought their most recent album.
i highly recommend it.
its peaceful and fun.
very fun.

so be happy for me.

thanks

< brittani 3

not many people where im from know about my account here, and right now thats a good thing

i want to talk about some pain that i dont want a lot of people (around me) to know about

today i stated "i know no pain"
but that was only half way true
and in relation to physical pain

i guess when your heart and/or lungs hurt its still physical pain, but this is totally different

yesterday i read some lyrics
and they brought up the single most bittersweet memories i have ever had
and i mean..
i was upset
but not THAT upset

and while i was reading them my chest began to burn
literally...a large portion of my lungs BURNED
i started to not be able to breath as easily
and like i said..
even though i wasnt that upset..
this went on for probably..15 or so minutes AFTER i stopped reading the lyrics

it was quite ridiculous and annoying

my heart still hurts at the slightest anticipation of this situation bettering or even changing..
this cant be good for my health
and the suckiest part is that i DONT WANT to feel this way

ive even actually tried not to

and my life/heart choose otherwise
not cool.

i need healing
that im pretty sure only God can bring
when will i learn to trust Him?

:-/

i have had several miniature  anxiety attacks

and the sad part is that the things ive sent to bring these on have gotten no responses whatsoever

its all a lost cause
and i know it

i cant help the way i feel

literally.

Ive tried
in some good and some wrong ways..

< brittani 3

The Black Dahlia

yep, went and saw it tonight with my ex boyfriend. we're getting along quite well as "friends". the funny thing is that tonight...during our "date" i completely pretended like i'd never known him before. it was fun and entertaining for us both, i know.
so about the moive...it was good. really good. but i didnt fully prepare myself for it before i watched it. if you are the kind of person that...bad images...kind of BURN in your memory..you may want to pray a little before watching this or just learn to close your eyes from time to time. if you dont know what i mean, i appologize, but im that kind of person and i know someone here has got to be,also.
i expected  to see some...murder mystery kind of thing with some love mixed in.
wow..i was soooo wrong. the plot was awesome and it was sooo very interesting and SURPRISING. definitely a "thriller". quite a twist or two, i might add. i dont want to ruin anything, but i was so surprised to see some of the things in that movie that i did. like the fact that it was set in the 40s and had so much explicit content was shocking, a baby bit of the dialogue, the lesbians, the murder itself.
a lot was crazy. the worst part is that the WHOLE entireeee theater was completely empty. just me and my date. we were both pretty scared and... scared. haha.
over all it was good. good thriller. good...scarey movie. not so much like..saw or...idk?? but intense...definitely.

< brittani 3

**edit**
apparently everyone in life thought this was a bad movie? im sorry...i guess i have bad taste. i just liked the way it as reminiscent of an old movie. where the main character narrates and all...it was cool. but also, i just liked the camera shots and all.i thought there were some nice effects. but it seems everyone else on vox (that i just went and read about) thought this movie sucked. sorry? ...

What's the last thing you usually do or think about before you fall asleep?

apparently get online
i often pray right before i fall asleep
and..somtimes i read

or latch hook :)

< brittani 3

Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Working on my NIGHT MOOOVES

< brittani 3

that tonight

my boyfriend of 2 years and i...

agreed to break up

my eyes hurt from some tears and some sleep deprivation

tomorrow im skipping some school with hannah to console myself
ha

i love ian so much
he means the world to me..

but sometimes you need space

< brittani 3

What's your favorite vacation destination?

i go to west palm at least once a year to see my grandfather. i love it there. i get to live like a movie star. but im sure that Europe (would be) is cooler.

< brittani 3

ha

if you know what thats from, i love you

the new norma jean album REDEEMER

its phenomenal..

really

its not so norma jean esque as i would have expected, but if it sounds good..hey, do it

those dirty faced boys <3

yum

< brittani 3

What do you collect?

cats?

< brittani 3